Why Co-Sleeping Makes Sense

We Were Created To Co-Sleep

God made us to live in relationship with each other. We hear in John 15 v 12 to “love one another as I have loved you”. Indeed, Genesis 2 v 18 says that “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” God made us to live in community and to love those around us. This starts with our own families; “But as for me and my family, we will serve the LORD” (Joshua 24 v 15). 

The God who created each of us uniquely does not want us to be alone. Indeed, many of us know the beauty of Christian fellowship where our hearts dance with our dear Christian friends as we worship God together through our lives. The same is true within our family life. Whilst the world around us may not prioritise marriage or families; God created both of these. He desires them to be good, fruitful, beautiful and rich ways of living together and loving each other. 

Psalms 139 v 13-14 tells us “For You formed my innermost parts; You knit me [together] in my mother's womb. I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And, my soul knows it very well”. Your dear children were planned and created by Father God; He loves them beyond measure. As mothers, that is truly mind-blowingly incredible. 

Why Co-Sleeping?

So, then to co-sleeping. With the above in mind, it makes sense that our little ones will feel safe snuggled close to us at night. Close to our loving arms. The night and the dark can be a scary place for little ones. It can be a time when children can feel alone with their fears. Children, particularly young children, were made to connect with us; to be in a close, precious relationship with their parents. Little children depend on us to provide for their basic physical needs and also their emotional needs. Both are important for healthy development. 

• Co-sleeping means connection.
• Co-sleeping means nighttime milky snuggles; breastfeeding is easy and accessible.
• Co-sleeping means togetherness and comfort.
• Co-sleeping is the sleep preference for millions of little ones and their families around the world. 

How To Safely Co-Sleep

La Leche League International [1] explains the seven golden rules for safer bedsharing with a little one. If you are considering whether or not to co-sleep then you can read more details about these via the link in the references below. 

• Mum is a non-smoker
• The parents have not been drinking alcohol and are unimpaired
• Mum is breastfeeding 
• Your baby is healthy and full-term
• Your baby sleeps on his back
• Your baby is lightly dressed
  and you both are:
• On a safe surface
• La Leche League also explain about the natural position in which breastfeeding, co-sleeping mothers sleep in. This sleeping position is known as a ‘cuddle curl’. If you have ever co-slept with your little one then you will know that you naturally sleep with your knees up next to (or beneath) your baby. Your arms naturally tucks either under your head or pillow or around the top of your little one’s head. In this way we naturally protect our baby during sleep. You can’t roll towards your little one because of your bent legs. Your baby sleeps in a protected space. 

This is only a natural sleeping position for a breastfeeding mum who co-sleeps. This means that your little one should sleep between you and the wall rather than in the middle of you and dad. 

What Are The Benefits Of Co-Seeping?

In the research entitled “Sleep Consolidation, Sleep Problems, and Co-Sleeping: Rethinking Normal Infant Sleep as Species-Typical” [2]; the researchers explain that “‘normal’ infant sleep, sleep consolidation, and sleep problems should all be understood within the framework of co-sleeping infants”. In other words, co-sleeping is normal sleep for little ones; it is how children were created to sleep at nighttime. It is Western ideas on what ‘normal’ infant sleep is which have led to more and more young children sleeping alone at night. Co-sleeping is a normal part of children’s development. Moreover, it is beneficial for their development. 

Other research [3] has considered the association between breastfeeding and co-sleeping. Mothers who co-sleep are more likely to breastfeed for longer. There are endless benefits to breastfeeding including: increased parental attachment, the ideal nutrition, access to stem cells, increased social development, emotional regulation advantages, increased immunity and the list goes on. The research found that babies and toddlers who co-sleep are likely to experience lower stress levels in both the night and day. These children are more likely to feel content and peaceful.  

Should Your Family Co-Sleep? 

Every family is different. As we as individuals are made uniquely in God’s image; so, each family is beautifully unique. You must do what feels right for your family. You can spend time reading the research and parenting books, praying about it and asking trusted friends who have a similar parenting philosophy to your own family. Some children are happy and settled in their own cot or bed; that’s great. What works well for one family won’t necessary work well for another. If co-sleeping works well for your family, then that’s great too. Knowing how the latest research backs up safe co-sleeping can give you confidence and peace in your decision to co-sleep. 

May your nights be filled with bonding and love. 

References

[1] La Leche League International on safe sleep: https://llli.org/news/the-safe-sleep-seven/ 

[2] Barry, E. S. (2021). Sleep Consolidation, Sleep Problems, and Co-Sleeping: Rethinking Normal Infant Sleep as Species-Typical. The Journal of Genetic Psychology, 182(4), 183–204. https://doi.org/10.1080/00221325.2021.1905599

[3] Beijers, R., Riksen-Walraven, J. M., & de Weerth, C. (2012). Cortisol regulation in 12-month-old human infants: Associations with the infants’ early history of breastfeeding and co-sleeping. Stress, 16(3), 267–277. https://doi.org/10.3109/10253890.2012.742057